Feast or Famine in the Sports World

In the spirit of Thanksgiving week, I would like to present our turkey dinner in the world of sports. Good and bad.

This recipe is best served with a good dose of sarcasm and a very good sense of humor, and remember, we tease because we care.

Our feast starts down in Ashburn, Virginia, where the Washington Redskins have turned into the biggest turkeys in the National Football League. This team reminds me of a Thanksgiving dinner with all the trimmings but one that was bought back in the summer. It's a table full of expensive coaches and talented players, and yet the whole thing is past the expiration date.

Mark Brunell has been replaced by rookie Jason Campbell. Ladell Betts is starting for Clinton Portis who is out for the year. Their defense is ranked 31st and couldn't stop The Slowsky's, from the Comcast broadband commercial.

Want to talk turkeys? Let's talk Dan Snyder. Since taking over the team in 1999, there have been two, count them, just two playoff appearances. Danny Boy had "turkey" written all over him in his first year after Brad Johnson took the team to the playoffs. All he did was win him a division and get the team to within a botched field goal of the NFC Championship.

Johnson's reward for that? The Boy owner had to have Jeff George who has a career winning percentage of .365. To this day Johnson knows he could have finished his career in Washington, but he went on to stuff that turkey by winning a Super Bowl in Tampa Bay.

Here in Baltimore, the Ravens' presentation at the table is much more appetizing. There is an aroma that draws you to the table. It remains to be seen just how good the meal will be. You know who's cooking the meal: Steve McNair, Derrick Mason, Todd Heap and a defense that if their secondary can stop dropping the food on the floor, should be able to get this team where it needs to go. Here's hoping Brian Billick doesn't ruin dessert for everyone.

If Steve McNair has anything to do with it, he won't let that happen.

I know it's early, but I predicted the Wizards would win 50 games this year. If the first month of the season is any indication, let's just say my turkey dinner is beginning to taste a bit fowl.

(If that didn't make you heave, nothing will).

Seriously, if the big three of Gilbert Arenas, Antawn Jamison and Caron Butler can't combine to score 70 or more points, this team has a hard time winning. They forget what it's like to play defense at times. When you are averaging scoring 102 points per game, but give up 103, that's as good as leaving the turkey in too long.

Also, someone needs to tell Eddie Jordan to remind his team the third quarter is part of the game too.

Congratulations to Gary Williams and the Maryland Terrapins on their 5-0 start which included their Coaches vs. Cancer wins over St Johns and Michigan State at Madison Square Garden. Now, I am far from ready to start drinking the kool aid, but for all you Gary bashers out there, shut up and eat your dinner.

Actually, after missing the NCAA tournament the last two years, this start is the best thing that could have happened to Williams and his team. After the Lady Terps and Brenda Frese won the National Championship last year and appear to be well equipped to defend the title this year, Gary doesn't need any more campus crow to eat.

When someone tells you he loves your city, loves his teammates and wants to stay with your team, but then is given 136 million reasons to love someone else's city and bolts -- he didn't love your city, his teammates or you team all that much after all.

Alfonso Soriano is a big turkey. He's a rich one, but a turkey nonetheless. Oh, don't get me wrong, I would do the same thing and so would you. I hope the wind at Wrigley Field blows in all year long. Yes, I am bitter.

Okay, so the Nats get the Cubs first round draft pick and a sandwich pick. Sorry, but this is Thanksgiving and I want a little more than a sandwich.

I wonder how Manny Acta is sleeping now.

Now, we all know the Orioles have been turkeys for the last nine years; however, if pitching is the key to winning, then the Orioles' first two moves of the off-season have to give you a bit of hope. Jaret Wright is an innings eater if he can stay healthy, and he is capable of double-digit wins. Jamie Walker will provide left-handed help out of the bullpen and help set up Chris Ray.

So, there is the appetizer, now bring on the main course and get me a bat to go in the middle of the lineup.

Memo to Mike Flanagan and Jim Duquette: After this weekend, start doing your Christmas shopping.

A "big turkey" award goes to Maryland quarterback Sam Hollenbach. Sam, learn how to pitch the football, buddy.

The Terps still have a chance to play in the ACC Championship game if Miami can beat Boston College and the Terps handle business at home against Wake Forest. To do that they can't handle the football like they are taking the turkey out of the oven without hot pads.

What an early Thanksgiving feast that Ohio State-Michigan game was. It had everything. Big plays, great quarterback play on both sides, drama, and in the end, a 42-39 win by the Buckeyes.

Now, the BCS people are still the biggest bunch of turkeys around, but after watching that game, it is clear to me the two teams have to be re-matched in the National Championship game. Of course, that will make Florida and the winner of this weekend's game between Notre Dame and USC unhappy, but hey, that's the BCS.

As I was writing this, I got to thinking about what it is I am thankful for.

Is it a chance to cover two losing baseball teams? Maybe it's covering the Redskins with an offense that's worse than watching paint dry. It could be the Maryland football team who no longer controls its own destiny. Is it a Maryland basketball team that hasn't made it to the NCAA Tourney the last two years? (Thank God for the Lady Terps).

Nope. I know what it is. I am thankful for the Ravens and having everyone remind me I am a Redskins fan.

Man, I just love the holidays.

Craig Heist is the midday sports anchor for WTOP Radio. His column appears weekly at www.pressboxonline.com.