Protect Yourself From Domestic Abuse

WASHINGTON -- Domestic abuse and the tragedies that can follow were highlighted once again this week. A Montgomery County woman lost her battle in court to take child custody away from her husband after he threatened to kill the children. He's now accused of killing the three, ages 2, 4 and 6 in a Baltimore bathtub.

There are numerous safety measures victims can take to try to stay safe in the home says Rebecca Foster, director of the Family Crisis Center in Baltimore, an expert in domestic violence.

In a domestic abuse situation stay calm and try to get to a safe place in the house. Stay away from the kitchen for obvious reasons and the bathroom, which is usually a very small room with a lot of hard edges and only one entrance.

If possible, Foster says, leave the home if the situation is escalating. Take nothing with you - it might arouse suspicion and confrontation.

If children are living in a home with domestic abuse, Foster says they too need to be educated. Make sure you have taught your children how to dial 911. They should have a safety plan—where to go and who to contact in case they need to leave the house.

Foster recommends putting a couple of bucks in your kids' shoes and $20 for yourself in case you need to take the bus.

You should also have important papers in a safe place outside the home like copies of birth certificates, social security numbers and any important papers you have to identify yourself.

The judge in the tragic Castillo case says the mother, Amy, did not have enough proof presented in court to warrant stripping the father of custody. Foster says if domestic violence is taking place to get any physical wounds on record. To do this you can go to the doctor or a police station.

Even if charges won't be pressed, Foster says call the police to report any kinds of domestic abuse. Reports are filed and phone calls are documented, which develops a paper trail for any future legal disputes.

Lastly Foster says it is important to keep in mind that "we cannot stay in a relationship and think we're going to change somebody-- we can only change ourselves."

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