Knuckleheads in the News

A) A manager at a Missouri Sonic fast food restaurant staged a lunchtime mugging. He recruited a man to enter the store with a toy gun. When customers called police about the hostage situation the manager explained it was just a training exercise for employees.

B) A Florida man was arrested for repeatedly calling 911 looking for sex. The man made sexual comments to the dispatcher asking if he could come to her house. And Police say he kept calling back. The man was arrested and seemed surprised the calls got him in trouble.

C) A Brazilian man was arrested after trying to smuggle more than a thousand live spiders through a Rio de Janiero airport. The spiders were in his luggage and were detected on security x-ray machines. The man said he was going to sell the spiders in a pet shop.

November 9, 2009
WINNER: A

A) A drunk Oregon man kept calling 9-1-1 to say his marijuana stash was stolen. He told the 9-1-1 operator police weren't working hard enough to find his stuff. Well, police found HIM -- and arrested him for drunk driving instead.

B) This California man stole a car to make a court appearance, but the car's alarm system led police to him. The man told officers his car was impounded, and he had no other way to make it to court. He was arrested on earlier auto theft charges.

C) A Colorado man stabbed himself just to get out of work. The man originally told police he was attacked by three people, triggering a manhunt for suspects. The man later confessed he stabbed himself in the leg to avoid working his shift at a Blockbusters video store. He now faces a number of charges.

November 2, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A New Hampshire deer hunter who accidentally shot himself. He was trying to lift his loaded rifle into a tree stand with a rope he had tied around the weapon. A stick got stuck in the trigger and you know what happened next. He's okay now, after being treated for a gunshot wound to the hand.

B) Two Iowa home burglars decided to forgo traditional ski masks to hide their faces and instead opted for permanent marker scribbled all over their faces. It didn't work. The burglary victim gave the knuckleheads' description to police who tracked them down and arrested them.

C) Two Australian thieves broke into a vacant display home after eyeing a large plasma television through the window. But after breaking down the front door the crooks found the plasma TV was actually a cardboard cut out.

October 26, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A Wisconsin prisoner shimmied out of his pants during an escape attempt. An officer was driving the man to the hospital when he ditched his shackled pants, and ran across the freeway. The man was later found and taken to the hospital for frostbite.

B) This drunk Ohio man was run over by his own car. The man led police on a chase, but lost control and crashed into some trees. When he tried to get out and run, he forgot to put his car in park. After the car rolled over him he was arrested.

C) A Florida man was found sleeping in a walk-in freezer. Police say the man entered an abandoned restaurant, ate a can of tomatoes, and then took a nap in the freezer. An officer was doing a security check when he discovered the man. The man was taken to jail.

October 19, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A drunk New York man climbed into his back seat after he was pulled over for speeding. Police say the man made the switch in an attempt to claim he wasn't driving. His plan didn't work, and he was charged with a DUI.

B) This Pennsylvania man walked up to a cop with a bag of marijuana stuck to his forehead. The officer noticed the small plastic bag, and grabbed it off the man's head. Needless to say the man was arrested.

C) A drunk Alabama father and son team tried unsuccessfully to rob a house. They broke into the home, grabbed some loot, but had to hide when one of the residents woke up. The father was able to sneak out, but the son passed out under a bed. The homeowner found the man, called police, and a neighbor...who happened to be the man's grandfather.

October 12, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A drunk Kansas man stole an ambulance to get home. Police say the man thought he had no other way home, and led officers on a short, low speed chase. He was arrested, and faces a number of charges.

B) This Phillies fan decided to steal 2008 World Series rings from a ball park office after being ejected from a game. The whole act was caught on tape shortly after the man filled out a job application to work at the park. It didn't help the man was dressed as a masked "Rockies Killer."

C) A drunk Wisconsin woman stripped down to her underwear to avoid being arrested for shoplifting. When that didn't work, the woman scuffled with officers; kicking one in the groin and spitting on the other. She topped things off by mooning drivers as she was hauled away in a squad car.

October 5, 2009
WINNER: A

A) This South Carolina man used MySpace as his own personal confessional. The man posted a message saying, "On the run for robbin' a bank, Love all of ya'll." Too bad police felt the love too. They saw the message and arrested him.

B) A Florida woman tried to smuggle a razor, knife, scissors and a bag of pot through a courthouse security scanner. When the woman emptied her purse, officers found the pot. The woman was arrested and charged with possesion.

C) This Oregon man threatened to blow up a plane because he was angry about a problem with his ticket. The man lost his temper, pointed a cell phone at an airplane employee, and claimed he had a bomb. It turns out he didn't, and he was quickly arrested.

September 28, 2009
WINNER: C

A) An Illinois man tried to secretly film a woman at a tanning salon. Unfortunately for him, the woman saw him holding the camera in the booth next to her, and called out to the manager. The man was arrested.

B) A pilot took a lover's quarrel to the sky. The man allegedly used his airplane to stalk his ex-girlfriend, by buzzing around her neighborhood, and dropping derogatory flyers. Neighbors reported the low flying plane, and the man was later arrested.

C) These Florida undercover cops decided to play a suspects Nintendo Wii while searching his house for drugs. Too bad a local news station received tape of the officers playing the Wii bowling. Now they could face disciplinary action.

September 21, 2009
WINNER: B

A) This Indiana man couldn't conceal his suspicious odor while trying to get a gun permit. Police say he came into the police department to fill out the gun application, when officers noticed he reeked of marijuana. Officers did a patdown and discovered the weed, and a handgun.

B) An Ohio woman tried unsuccessfully to smash a penny with a train. The woman didn't realize she didn't need to hold on to the penny in order to get the job done, and was hit by the train. She suffered a minor head injury.

C) This Kansas couple wanted to share a tender moment in a trash bin, but were rudely interrupted. Police say the couple climbed into the dumpster to be "alone" when they were found by two older men and robbed. The thieves were caught a short time later, and the couple's stolen property was returned.

September 14, 2009
WINNER: A

A) Here's a twofer for the price of one. An Oregon woman was pulled over on suspicion of DUI. While an officer was giving her a sobriety test, her boyfriend drove up -- drunk. Police arrested both.

B) A man held a couple hostage in their Kansas home. He fell asleep, they escaped unharmed. Police then stormed the house and arrested him. The standoff had lasted for hours until fatigue got the better of the hostage taker.

C) Sometimes criminals leave a trail of evidence...but one Orlando crook left a literal trail of peanuts. Police followed the nuts to a wooded area and arrested the suspect with plenty of peanuts still in his pocket.

September 7, 2009
WINNER: A

A) We've all been in traffic and thought "I could take a nap and we still wouldn't have moved." Well one man did. He got caught in traffic after a crash closed the Beltway Saturday. When police tried to clear out traffic they found him and his passenger both drunk and asleep with an open beer in between them. The driver was arrested.

B) A Pennsylvania man fired a two-pound cannonball through his neighbor's window. The man says he frequently recreates nineteenth century cannons and fires them on his property. He has promised to stop.

C) A couple of Minnesota cops were on a coffee break when they heard about a robbery nearby. Imagine their surprise when the robbers' getaway truck pulled up at the restaurant they were sitting in! The officers found the stolen goods in the truck and the thieves were arrested.

August 31, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A Massachusetts man who decided to drive drunk and moon people on the road. One unamused driver called police, who found the man weaving in and out of lanes. He faces drunk driving charges.

B) A Florida pastor who faked his own kidnapping so he could spend more time with his mistress. The man sent a text message to his wife saying he had been abducted, but there was no reason to panic. His wife called police. Officers found the man with his girlfriend, and he admitted it was all a hoax.

C) This New York man who got busted for pretending to be a cop. The jig was up when the phony police officer pulled over a real cop, who was off duty. He now faces criminal impersonation charges.

August 24, 2009
WINNER: A

A) Three Hawaii police officers now know what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. They were caught smoking pot in their car during a weekend softball tournament, a few miles from the Vegas strip. The men attempted to flee police, but didn't get far. They now face drug charges.

B) This Connecticut man tried unsuccessfully to steal a boat and trailer. The man led police on a chase that ended when the boat fell off the trailer in the middle of the highway. He now faces a number of charges.

VIDEO: Why You Don't Steal a Boat on a Trailer

C) A Vermont man was caught driving an unusual vehicle drunk. The man was seen driving a snowmobile on one of the hottest days of the year. When he realized he was being followed by police, he abandoned the snowmobile, and ran off into the woods. The man was later caught and charged with his fifth DUI offense.

August 17, 2009
WINNER: A

A) An Alaskan robber who showed a bank teller his picture ID before holding up a bank. Police say the man asked about his account, and gave the teller his real name and account number. Then he handed over a note demanding money. The man fled with the funds, but it didn't take long for police to find him.

B) This drunk Massachusetts man who was caught walking the streets in just sneakers and a baseball cap. Police say they received a number of complaints over the last few months about a naked man wandering around with a beer, but weren't able to catch him until now.

C) A Wisconsin teen who picked the wrong bar to rob. The young man ran into the bar, pretending to have a gun, but failed to realize the place was filled with cops. It didn't take long for officers to catch the would-be thief.

August 10, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A Texas inmate who decided to hide a gun under folds in his own fat. His plan did not go unnoticed, and officials quickly learned of the hiding place. Now he faces additional charges.

B) This Chicago man who was found driving a lawnmower drunk. Neighbors reported seeing a man on a yellow lawnmower weaving in and out of traffic. When police found the man at a gas station, he fled on his mower, and drove into his own front yard. The man faces drunk driving charges.

C) A Pennsylvania man who decided to rob the same bank twice. The man spent six years in prison for robbing a PNC bank in 2003, but once released he decided to rob it again. He's now back in jail.

August 3, 2009
WINNER: A

A) It's a classic case of should have known better. A Pittsburgh lawyer entered a courthouse to defend his client from drug-dealing charges while carrying cocaine hidden in a dollar bill. He got caught when he emptied his pockets to go through the medal detector. He's been arrested and faces a court date of his own.

B) A drunk Louisiana man who drove his car into a ditch. Then he stole from the good Samaritan that gave him a ride. Then he found another car and drove drunk back to the original accident. A cop and the now angry Samaritan were waiting for him. So he capped the night off by attacking the officer. The drunk was pepper-sprayed and arrested.

C) Hell hath no fury like 3 women scorned. A Wisconsin man was seeing 3 women at the same time. They were tipped off to each other and decided to take revenge - tying the man up in his underwear in a hotel room. Now all 3 women face false imprisonment and other charges. The original tipster? The man's wife.

July 27, 2009
WINNER: B

A) The Vermont camp counselor who reached for the bear spray in a bus full of kids and no bear in sight. Bear spray is essentially pepper spray and the can went off. Fifteen kids had to be taken to the hospital. They're all ok now.

B) Note to fake police officers everywhere - don't pull over a real cop. That's what one California man did. He was arrested when he tried to pull over an undercover police officer. The man had his probation for car theft revoked and could be headed back to jail.

C) Here's something you would never hear from an American politician, "Don't vote for me." That's what a German porn star is saying. She claims her name was accidentally added to the ballot for city council and she's worried dirty politics would ruin her reputation as a serious artist.

July 20, 2009
WINNER: C

A) The Utah man who just wanted to get married. He showed up at the courthouse with his fiance, but he is the area's public enemy #1 and wanted for aggravated robbery. He was recognized and arrested before the wedding. He's still a bachelor.

B) The driver of a Oscar Myer Weinermobile in Wisconsin who accidentally hit the gas peddle instead of the brake. She ended up crashing the Weinermobile into a house. See video of this knucklehead here.

C) The federal government. As part of the stimulus plan a job in California was bid on and contracted for $1,191,200. The job? Slicing two pounds of frozen ham. That's over $500,000 per pound of ham. Imagine the cost of a stimulus ham sandwich.

CORRECTION:
WTOP told you the federal government paid more than $1 million for 2 pounds of ham. The office of the Vice-President tells WTOP that the company spent the money on thousands of 2-pound packages of ham and dairy products for soup kitchens and food banks. This was at a cost of $1.50 per pound, not $1 million for two pounds of ham.

July 13, 2009
WINNER: A

a) A Michigan man who robbed a bank without a get-away car! Instead he flagged down a ride with the stolen loot- turns out the ride was an unmarked police car. He was arraigned on bank robbery charges and making a false bomb threat.

B) A man from Texas who stole beer, threatened the clerk with a knife and took off wearing only his underwear! Police tracked down the man off the clerk's description right down to his undies. He has been charged with aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon.

C) A woman who stole a car then drove it around a barricade, past police directing traffic around a deadly accident. She was jailed on suspicion of second-degree theft, driving with no insurance and failure to comply with a police order. When asked by the officers why she didn't stop she said "i'm not from around here"

July 6, 2009
WINNER: A

a) A German gardener who burned down his house after using a flame thrower to weed his garden! The blaze got out of control and quickly spread to the garden shed and then the roof of the house. Seven firemen were needed to put the fire out and now the house is deemed inhabitable.

B) Two Pennsylvania men who robbed a gas station in New York and probably would have gotten away had they filled their gas tank! Police caught the two crooks less than a mile down the road because their get-away car ran out of gas! They are accused of robbing the clerk at knife-point and are being held without bail.

C) A pediatrician from England accused of inhaling laughing gas while treating children in an emergency ward! Nurses told a medical tribunal that not only did they hear him giggling on several occasions after using the gas but he also tried to get them to join in because it'd make them feel "floaty". Traces of cocaine were also found in samples of the doctor's hair. The hearing continues.

June 29, 2009
WINNER: C

a) A serial bank robber who might regret tattooing his girl friend's name on his wrist. The man got a new girl and blacked out the tattoo of his ex's name. While robbing a bank he got caught on camera. His ex recognized the dark blotch -- and turned him in. He now faces bank robbery charges.

b) A man from Tallahassee who tried to make an unusual deposit at his local bank. He slipped two hundred dollars and a small plastic bag of marijuana and cocaine into a deposit canister. A teller told her boss...and the man was arrested.

C) A man who got drunk...and ended up stuck in a dryer! While naked he went looking for some fresh undies when the machine fell on top of him. A fire crew had to take the whole thing apart to pull the man out. In the end the clothes in the dryer weren't even his.

June 22, 2009
WINNER: C

a) A Texas man who came up with a creative way to steal a car. During a test drive he swung by Wal-Mart to copy the key.Later he stole the car from the dealer. Clean break? Nope. He got too greedy and stole a burger from Dairy Queen. The manager called the police, who pulled him over and discovered the stolen car. The man was charged with burger and auto theft...

B) In Maine, a man who broke into a restaurant, stuffed his pockets with cash, ate 11 lobsters, then topped it off with too much wine. He didn't get very far, police found him asleep on a bench outside. Oh, and he left the refrigerator door open causing a thousand dollars of food to go bad.

C) A man from Chicago who robbed a bank and took the dye-stained stolen cash to another bank and tried to deposit it! He has been charged with one count of bank robbery.

June 15, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A drunk Pennsylvania man sped into a police station parking lot, and stopped to take a nap. When an officer approached the car to check on the man he saw drugs and an empty vodka bottle on the floor. The man now faces DUI and drug charges.

B) This South Dakota man got stuck in a car wash. The man drove his truck, with a 16-foot trailer attached to it, into an automatic car wash, but then couldn't get out. Police found the man, and also discovered he had a number of warrants. After he was freed, he was arrested.

C) A Michigan man held up a gas station, with a fake homemade gun, and then left behind a piece of paper with his name and address on it. Police went to the man's apartment and arrested him an hour after the robbery.

June 8, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A Florida man is suing a strip club after a dancer allegedly kicked him in the head. The man says he was struck without warning, and permanently injured. However, the club owner says the five foot woman kicked the man after he violently slapped her behind.

B) This Wisconsin woman decided to get drunk, strip to her underwear and use her neighbors yard as a slip and slide. Police say a neighbor saw the scantily clad woman trying to water slide with a young boy. The woman faces disorderly conduct charges.

C) A Connecticut robber went after the wrong guy. The man tried to rob another man who just happened to be a weapons and self-defense expert. The expert fought with the man, and ended up taking his gun. The man now faces attempted robbery charges.

June 1, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A Detroit man faces 10 years in prison for going to the bathroom on the I.R.S. He was repeatedly peeing in an elevator in the I.R.S. building. He was caught on tape after other employees complained of the smell.

B) If you're hunting for turkey, hiding behind a decoy turkey and making turkey calls can fool other hunters as well as the birds. This Connecticut man ran afoul of another hunter who shot at the fake turkey and wound up hitting the man with pellets. The bird-brain is recovering from non life-threatening injuries.

C) Here's an excuse you don't hear every day - the braces made me do it. A man arrested for slashing the tires of more than 50 cars in Colorado had a bevy of reasons for the spree, including that he had to wear braces in the 90s.

May 18, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A North Carolina teen tried to use a banana to rob a store. His plan didn't work, and he was caught by the store owner. But the teen ate the banana before police arrived. Police took a picture of the peel instead, and the teen was still charged with attempted robbery.

B) This Oregon knucklehead spray painted "Mexican Swine Flu" on an old mattress, and threw it on a freeway overpass. The man told police the old mattress had been lying on his neighbors property for more than a month. Police didn't find the prank funny, and charged the man with disorderly conduct.

C) A Maine college student forgot to do a thorough check of her dorm room before moving out. During a routine check, security guards found several marijuana plants growing there. The student now faces numerous drug charges.

May 11, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A Wyoming woman who tried to steal a picture of President Obama from inside someone's home. But she ended up in a struggle with the owner. The owner won, and the woman was arrested. Her friend waiting in the getaway car was also taken to jail.

B) This New York con artist who placed a random call to the cell phone of New York Senator Charles Schumer. The caller told the Senator his car warranty was about to expire. Schumer now wants the Federal Trade Commission to investigate such calls.

C) These two drunk Wisconsin men who decided to urinate outside a police station. After police caught them, the men said they were just taking pictures. Too bad the photos showed them urinating on a police truck. Both were arrested.

May 4, 2009
WINNER: A

A) An Alabama man might want to snuggle with a teddy bear instead of a gun. The man accidentally shot himself while he slept with his gun in his arms. He was hit in the shoulder, but his injury wasn't life threatening.

B) This Denver cowboy rode a horse through a suburb while drunk. The man was given a ticket at a strip mall for riding the animal under the influence, but says he was just out for a joyride. A stable owner offered to take the man and his horse home.

C) A Nebraska man decided to drive drunk, and naked. Police pulled the man over and found him naked behind the wheel. A female passenger was also in the car, and naked too. The man was booked on suspicion of drunk driving and driving under suspension.

April, 27 2009
WINNER: C

A) A Wisconsin man needed money to pay his attorney, so he decided to steal from cars. The owner of a Camaro caught the man inside his car, and held him there for police. Now along with his prior drug charges, he faces charges for felony burglary.

B) These party-throwers will think twice before advertising on Facebook. Two Nebraska hosts posted their house party on Facebook, promising a DJ, photographer, and shuttle service. Too bad police also saw the ad. The hosts were charged with buying alcohol for minors.

C) A brother and sister took sibling rivalry too far. The sister slashed all four of her brothers tires after he allegedly took three pieces of candy from her car. In retaliation, he smashed out her rear window. Both face charges, and are ordered to stay away from each other.

April, 20 2009
WINNER: B

A) An escaped burglary suspect in Washington state tried to hide in a McDonald's. He was found in the ceiling of the fast food restaurant after escaping from a patrol car two days earlier. He faces a number of charges.

B) A Rhode Island man just wanted to see police in action. He made several phony bomb threats and 9-1-1 calls. He watches a lot of TV and wanted to see police and fire respond in real life. All the fake calls were traced to the same phone, and the man was arrested.

C) A Delaware robber went straight for the frozen treats. The man allegedly broke into an apartment and stole $80 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets. Police used surveillance to help identify the thief, and found some of the stolen frozen food items in his home.

April, 13 2009
WINNER: C

A) A Texas woman knows how to handle a shrimp emergency. She called 9-1-1 from a restaurant after not getting enough shrimp in her fried rice. Police say the woman told the dispatcher to investigate her shrimp gyp, but left before police arrived.

B) Running down the street naked is a way to get police attention. Police say a drunk Florida man stripped off his clothes and went streaking...hoping to get caught and sent back to Mexico. He's now in the custody of immigration officials, and faces charges for indecent exposure.

c) This Wisconsin man says he was just cleaning. He soaked a pile of cushions and clothes in gasoline, and then tossed a lit cigarette on top. His apartment went up in flames, and the man yelled fire instead of pulling the alarm. He faces arson charges.

April, 6 2009
WINNER: A

A) An Ohio man was arrested for drunk driving...on a bar stool. The man crashed his lawnmower-powered stool near his home, and had to call 911 for help. When police arrived, he said, "I wrecked my stool." He was charged with two misdemeanors.

B)An Arizona man was sniffed out during a car inspection at the state's border. A drug-sniffing dog took interest in some paintings...Customs agents found 90 pounds of marijuana inside the frames. The man has not been charged.

C) A man in Arkansas got kicked out of a bar, then wanted to take a woman for a ride...So police say he stole a school bus. They were notified by the woman who declined the ride. The man told police the bus was a "warm, dry place." He is being held on 5-thousand dollars bond.

March 23, 2009
WINNER: A

A) This Kansas knucklehead likes to keep his wives close. Apparently the man was married to two women who lived in the same apartment complex. He was busted when wife number two found out about wife number one. He faces a number of felony charges.

B) A Washington woman says it's all Satan's fault. The woman was caught stealing more than $73,000 from her church. Although she told police the devil played a big part in the theft, she was still charged.

C) A Massachusetts man had a hard time when he tried to rob a Chinese restaurant. He tried to grab money out of the cash register, but the owner yelled "Robbery, police." Four officers dressed in regular clothes were eating at the restaurant, and captured the thief after a short chase.

March 16, 2009
WINNER: C

A) This Seattle man says eBay's to blame. The man was clocked going 110-miles per hour, but told police he was just trying to get home to make a bid on eBay before the auction closed. He was still arrested for reckless driving.

B) Someone should have told this Minneapolis substitute teacher that drinking and teaching just don't mix. The man was caught guzzling out of a small bottle of vodka while teaching a group of fourth-graders. He was quickly dismissed, and driven home by police.

C) A Wisconsin robber is wishing he didn't pick a Tae Kwon Do studio as his target. He tried to slip in and out of the studio with some loot, but instead came face to face with a Tae Kwon Do master. After a short chase, the master held the man by the neck until police arrived.

March 9, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A Georgia man escaped from jail, broke into a convenience store, stole 14 packs of cigarettes and got away with all of it! He was caught when he tried to sneak back INTO the jail. Apparently the jail is supposed to be smoke-free. Needless to say they let him back in.

B) A West Virginia man used his own debit card to pay for a soda while robbing a convenience store. He tried to hide his identity by signing the receipt "John Doe" and then left without the money. He's been charged with armed robbery.

C) A Texas mayor was so worried when he heard a dog was stuck on a balcony he went to the apartment and scaled a ladder to save it. Problem was the dog was fine, just laying on the balcony watching traffic. The dog owner who found the mayor in the kitchen though was pretty mad.

March 2, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A cop in Florida pulled over a couple teens and smelled pot. But he got REALLY suspicious when he saw the pair chewing and swallowing with difficulty. He figures the teens ate the drugs. Now they're charged with trying to tamper with evidence.

B) You couldn't exactly call this a high speed chase. A Florida man stole a golf cart and with police on his tail he raced through town...even ramming a cruiser with the cart. It ended when the man crashed into a swamp. He's charged with grand theft.

C) Three Texas teens stole a safe with antique money. The heist ended when they tried exchanging a thousand dollar bill at the bank. The mint stopped printing those in 1945. They were arrested.

February 23, 2009
WINNER: B

A) A Utah man who bought a used car and couldn't figure out why the gas gauge never went below half full. It was because the gas tank was packed half full with bundles of marijuana. Police don't know who the pot belongs to. The car's been a rental and sold several times, but it runs fine now that the drugs are gone.

B) An Arkansas man brought his gun to the bank, but not to rob it. He forgot to take the gun out of the bag of coins he had stolen from somewhere else. A teller saw the gun and the police were called. They found other stolen goods and 8 more guns at his home. He's been arrested.

C) The best getaway is not trying to drive your SUV through a house. Two Texas men were being chased by an angry bar owner after paint-balling his car. They almost made it through the house but got stuck at the back wall. No one in the home was hurt, but the men were arrested.

February 16, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A drunk New York man crashed his rental car into a utility pole. Why a rental? Because after a previous drunk driving conviction, his own car has a device to test for alcohol in a driver's breath before the car will start. The man's been charged again with drunk driving.

B) This Florida man forgot something when he robbed a gas station. He remembered the money but forgot to fill up his car! The robber was busted after he ran out of gas nearby. He's been arrested.

C) A man in Montana robbed a bank and flew to California. When he landed, he tried to leave the airport through a restricted door. Well, he set off the alarm. To avoid being caught he tried to cover up his identity - by stripping off all his clothes, hiding in a closet and holding his ID. He was arrested.

February 9, 2009
WINNER: C

A) If you're a Wall Street company in trouble, maybe you should watch your spending. Months before the first round of government bank bailouts Former Merrill Lynch CEO John Thain spent $1.22 million to renovate his office, including $35,000 on a new toilet.

B) An Indiana man got so angry at a high school basketball game that he tried to choke the referee with his whistle strap, but the ref's a state trooper. After he was attacked the ref said he was a cop and told the man he was under arrest. The man said he couldn't be arrested by a referee. When he was he said, "that's not fair."

C) An Ohio man called 911 to report 2 men with guns watching him, but then put the dispatcher on hold to make a drug deal. Needless to say the dispatcher overheard him and told the police. He was found with crack cocaine and arrested.

February 2, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A French thief drilled through the wall, as part of a bank heist, but apparently his aim was off. When he broke through he ended up in the bathroom. After setting off the alarms he was arrested.

B) A Kansas woman asked her friend to kidnap her ex-boyfriend so they could talk about relationship issues. The friend showed up with a gun, but the guy was playing video games and refused to stop. So the would-be-kidnapper left. Both he and the ex-girlfriend have been arrested.

C) This California thief should have quit while he was ahead. He stole a car from a driveway, decided it wasn't good enough so took it back and and stole the neighbor's car instead. He was caught a few miles away.

January 26, 2009
WINNER: B

A) If you think you're having a bad morning - A Michigan man lost his dog and drove onto a frozen river to look for it. Then he locked he his keys in the car. The car's exhaust melted the ice and the car sank. It was a loaner car from the collision repair shop.

B) You've seen those warnings on products that seem really stupid - like don't use while sleeping on a hairdryer. Here's one that takes the cake. When you buy a carton of Happy Eggs in the grocery store, it has an allergy warning on it that says "Contains eggs."

C) One Chicago teen took dress-up too far. He walked into a police station in full uniform, and walked out with an assignment. He patrolled in a squad car for 5 hours before someone figured out he's only 14 years old. They realized he wasn't an actual officer after his shift when someone noticed his uniform lacked a required star on it. The boy's been charged as a juvenile with impersonating an officer.

January 19, 2009
WINNER: A

A) A Kentucky man who went to rob a bank...then found out it was a water utility company. When told there was no money to steal -- the man said..."I know you have money, it's a bank." The confused crook left with nothing.

B) A man in Utah who police say...pulled up his pants in a Carl's Jr. bathroom and had his gun fall into the toilet -- shoot and shatter it. A few shards cut the man's arm. He had a permit to carry the gun. But police have confiscated it.

C) A shoplifter in Florida who was run over by her own getaway car...twice! After being confronted outside a shop -- Police say the suspect tried to get into a car -- but was run over....Then she tried to jump on the car's hood -- and was hit again. She got away, but police say they have the car's plate number.

January 12, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A school bus driver in Montana who -- before picking up her students -- went on a liquor run. Police say they were notified by someone who spotted the bus at a liquor store. When officers caught up with the bus...the driver had picked up some middle school students, and allegedly asked one student to hide a paper bag with bottles of liquor. No charges have been filed, but the driver quit her job this week.

B) An Oregon man who wanted to smoke inside of a nightclub. So -- he went into the bathroom to do so. After a bouncer pointed out the "No Smoking" sign, the man took his lighter...and set it on fire. No injuries were reported The man is being charged with burning and disorderly conduct.

C) A Mexico woman who was caught running from a crime scene. The problem is -- she had been sitting in a wheelchair. Police say the woman and her husband allegedly attempted to rob a furniture store...on the same block she was regularly seen asking for change...from a wheelchair pushed by her husband. The couple were arrested when they returned for the wheelchair. Both have been charged with vandalism.

January 5, 2009
WINNER: C

A) A Washington man -- who's deterrent to stop a friend from driving drunk -- was to shoot his car windshield with paintballs. He was later taken to jail, but police did call his method "very creative."

B) A man in Oregon who -- while naked -- broke into the home of an 88-year-old woman. After being pushed into a chair by the intruder -- the woman reached back, grabbed the man's crotch...and squeezed. The man freed himself and fled. He was later caught and jailed on accusations of burglary, harassment and private indecency.

C) A Chicago man -- who went into a bank, and gave a teller a note that said, "Be quick, be quiet. Give me your cash of I'll shoot." He got away with 400-hundred dollars, but left half of his note behind. The problem is...the note was written on the man's October pay stub that had his name and address. The man was later arrested at his home. If convicted he faces 20 years in prison.

December 15, 2008
WINNER: A

A) After this Indiana woman was pulled over for a traffic stop, she asked the officer if she could smoke, but the officer noticed her cigarette looked a little funny. Well, that's because it was a joint. The woman faces drug possession charges.

B) A Nevada blood alcohol tester was on her way to test a suspects blood when she was pulled over for drunk driving. The woman told the officer she only had one margarita, but then failed a series of field sobriety tests. She was charged with a DUI.

C) This North Carolina man said his cat did it. He told police his cat jumped on a seat and landed on his pistol, setting it off, and shooting him in the leg. It didn't take long for the man to fess up, and admit he shot himself by mistake.

December 8, 2008
WINNER: B

A) This Florida thief hid his loot by swallowing it. Store security stopped him after he dropped a pair of earrings in a bottle of water. He then drank the water and swallowed the jewelry. An X-ray confirmed the earrings were inside of him.

B) A drunk Ohio knucklehead says he had permission from the Federal Aviation Administration to test his brakes on an airport runway. The man wouldn't stop doing doughnuts, but when police caught him he told them the FAA said it was ok. He faces drunk driving charges.

C) An Alaskan robber is wishing he didn't pick a commercial fisherman and an amateur hockey player to hold up. When he tried to rob the two outside their hotel he just ended up unconscious. A security guard found the robber in a nearby closet.

December 1, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A drunk New Mexico man lead police on a chase that ended with him running over himself. After hitting a fence, the man tried to put his truck in park, but instead put it in reverse. He fell out his door as his truck backed up. He was treated for minor injuries, and charged with drunk driving.

B) This Kansas thief thought he had the right idea when he tried to open a stolen ATM machine by dropping it off a 50 foot cliff. Too bad the machine took him with it. The man was found trapped inside the ATM, but wasn't badly hurt. He could face federal charges.

C) Hailing a taxi was the great getaway plan for this DC bank robber. Apparently the man robbed a bank by claiming he had a bomb, then walked outside and caught a cab. The man didn't get far, and was arrested a short time later.

November 24, 2008
WINNER: C

A) The Nebraska butt bandit has been busted. Apparently the man has been greasing up and leaving butt prints on windows for over a year, on everything from schools to churches. No charges have been filed yet.

B) This Massachusetts bank robber was caught red handed -- literally. Workers at the bank managed to sneak a red dye pack into the cash he stole. Police spotted him easily and charged him with armed robbery.

C) "The iPhone did it." That's the excuse one man gave his wife when she found explicit pictures of him in his sent emails folders, addressed to another woman. The wife checked with Apple, who says they've never heard of pictures attaching themselves at random to email addresses. The couple's getting divorced.

November 17, 2008
WINNER: C

A) This New York man must have thought really highly of himself. Police say he made a documentary of his life, including portions on his drug smuggling from Mexico. And he left the video next to more than 45 pounds of pot. The dealer was arrested.

B) A Montana man was pulled over for drunk driving. As he was doing the field sobriety test, his drunk passenger decided to hop into the driver's seat and try to get away. The police officer caught him and cited both men for drunk driving.

C) Tellers at a Pennslyvania bank were waiting for their cash drawers to be filled when a man walked in to rob them. The tellers told him they didn't have any money and showed him the empty drawers, so the man said he would file a complaint. How dare they not have any money for him to steal! Cops caught the man.

November 10, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A New Jersey councilman urinates on DC concertgoers. Police say Steven Lipski relieved himself from a second floor balcony at the 9:30 Club during a Grateful Dead tribute. He now faces charges.

B) Seems obvious but an Oklahoma man had to chew on this -- can gum wrappers pay your bar bill? He tried to use a wad for a $32 tab. He was arrested after pushing an officer.

C) The cobwebs never stood a chance...unfortunately neither did this knucklehead's Georgia home. He used a blowtorch to clean his eaves and didn't know anything was wrong until he saw smoke pouring from the attic. The blaze was extinguished and no one was hurt.

November 3, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A Texas police officer was directing traffic when he spotted a stolen truck, his truck. He ordered the driver to pull over, but the man tried to get away instead. He's been arrested.

B) It's an all you can eat buffet, as long as you pay for it. A Georgia man ordered the buffet and then let his girlfriend eat off his plate. He was charged for 2 meals but refused to pay. He was arrested for theft. After a couple days in jail, he pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct.

C) When you have to go to court for car theft it's not a good idea to show up in another stolen car. That's what one California man did. He's been convicted of the first theft and charged for the second.

October 27, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A robber who was caught red-fingered. A man robbed a combined brothel and gambling house in Columbia Heights and lost his thumb while struggling with one of the victims. Police caught the robber when he went to the hospital.

B) Miss Teen Louisiana was arrested with 3 friends for "a dine and dash." But she left her purse on the restaurant table, with pot inside. When she came back for her bag she was arrested. She tells TMZ "I'm only human." She has lost her crown.

C) Bartending in the buff -- not a good idea. An Illinois woman was arrested for lewd entertainment after police found her making cocktails naked. The bar has a history of employees being charged for their lack of clothing.

October 20, 2008
WINNER: A

A) We know car surfing is a bad idea. And doing it while mooning oncoming traffic only makes it worse. It landed this English man in the intensive care unit...after he landed on the road

B) A harmless strip tease proved to be anything but when a Florida man says he was hit by ceiling glass after a stripper's shoe went flying. He is suing the club for 15-thousand dollars.

C) A New York man is in trouble with the law, for trying to impersonate the law...kind of. He was busted for forging police badges for the costumes of his male strippers. He doesn't think he did anything wrong, and has pleaded not guilty to forgery charges.

October 13, 2008
WINNER: A

A) Remember going "parking"? Well one Pennsylvania couple didn't pick a very good spot, they parked in the handicap spot at the POLICE STATION. Needless to say police caught them in the act. The couple admitted to drinking at a party and said they didn't see the cop cars parked nearby. The driver was charged with drunk driving.

B) It's not just DWI - it's a case of MWI. Police in Missouri spotted a man driving drunk on his lawn mower. The best part? The mower was towing a trailer with a case of beer on it. He faces a number of charges, including driving while intoxicated.

C) A Louisiana home was robbed but police didn't have to look far to find out who did it. The owners noticed their distinctive blanket with a dog pattern on it...hanging in their next door neighbor's window. Apparently the robbers were hiding behind the blanket with the rest of the stolen goods.

October 6, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A Lingerie model couldn't fool this Oregon jury. She tried to get out of a ticket by pulling $270, from her bra, for the officer. Too bad her license was suspended. The model claims it wasn't a bribe. She was still found guilty.

B) This Ohio woman's cow suit was just the beginning of her knucklehead antics. While in the costume, she was caught chasing children, urinating on a porch, and blocking traffic. She was arrested for disorderly conduct. See a picture here.

C) Someone should have told this drunk Iowa man that you shouldn't hug a police officer. Despite police warnings, he still thought an officer needed a tight embrace, so he gave him a hug. The cop wasn't pleased, and the man was charged with assault.

September 29, 2008
WINNER: A

A) A drunken West Virginia man is paying the price for his smelly weapon. While waiting in a police station, he apparently lifted his leg and passed gas in an officer's face. The man faces charges including battery on a police officer.

B) What's skating without a little nudity? That's how this Oregon woman felt. She was caught skating in the nude after police received complaints from construction workers. The officers asked her to tone it down, so she put on a string bikini bottom and rolled on.

C) This Washington State knucklehead is all about spreading the love. He admitted to police that he spray painted pink hearts on utility poles to help the city after seeing so many angry drivers. He faces malicious mischief charges.

September 22, 2008
WINNER: B

A) The Redskins two game winning street can't take the attention away from tight end Chris Cooley's knucklehead behavior. He is apologizing for a photo he posted on his blog that showed him reading a play-book in the nude. The player says he didn't check the photo carefully before he put it up.

B) Flipping off the cops is usually a bad idea, especially if you have a suspended license. A Wisconsin man was stopped after making the obscene gesture, and not only was his license invalid, but there were open bottles of alcohol in the car. He was arrested.

C) A New York man should have made sure his record was clear before reporting to jury duty. A records check showed he was wanted on felony charges in Ohio. The man told the judge it was a case of mistaken identity.

September 15, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A drunk Florida man knows how to catch the attention of police. After a few too many drinks, he stood in the middle of a busy street, and began directing traffic. Police arrested him.

B) This former high school football coach didn't take losing his job too well. He broke into the school that fired him and tried to set the building on fire. He instead set off the alarm. Police caught him driving across the school's front lawn.

C) You would think two Oklahoma lawyers would know not to drink and drive. Not only were the two spotted driving the wrong way through a restaurant drive-through lane, but when police arrived one of them resisted arrest and pretended to be an officer. Both were taken to jail.

September 8, 2008
WINNER: B

A) It's usually not a good idea to bribe a police officer. After being arrested for drunk driving, an Iowa City man offered the officer free sandwiches in exchange for freedom. The officer declined and took the man to jail.

B) This Florida man knows that things can get messy when you break the law. When he was caught breaking into pick-up trucks he ran and hid in a nearby port-o-potty. Too bad the owner of one of the trucks saw him and flipped the toilet over. The thief was drenched.

C) A Virginia man didn't think to hide his weapons before stopping to ask a police officer for directions. The man was detained after the officer saw a rifle case in his backseat. A search of the car later turned up other weapons, and he was arrested on sight.

September 1, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A Connecticut teenager lead police on a car chase through his town. The car crashed at a dead end and the teen ran away, but he left his cell phone behind. Police called the boy who thought he was talking to a friend and he bragged about evading the cops and planned to report the car missing. He's facing a boatload of charges now.

B) A New York man responded to a Craigslist ad for a job. Both he and the boss thought the interview went really well. She would have hired him except he stole her wallet during the interview. Fortunately he left his name and address on the job application. He's been charged with grand larceny.

C) An off duty cop on vacation in Florida saw a travel trailer on the road with a "For Sale" sign. He called the number to ask the price and the seller told him the trailer had been stolen. The officer followed the trailer, approached the driver and called local police. The thief was arrested.

August 25, 2008
WINNER: A

A) A DC man was on time to check in to his parole office, but too bad it was in a stolen car. Police watched the man get out of the car, and then ran the tags. The man tried to play clueless, but keys to the car were found in his pocket.

B) This Milwaukee mother knows how to celebrate a birthday with the family. She spent her special day helping her teenage son rob two gas stations. The pair were caught, and are waiting to be charged.

C) Police officers in Massachusetts thought they were stopping a robbery attempt, but instead interrupted a movie set. The officers stormed into a convenience store when the movie Director screamed out "It's a movie!" They later apologized for the confusion.

August 18, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A Denver man didn't bother changing his getaway plan. He was caught not once but twice waiting at a bus stop after robbing a 7-eleven. The man's loot? Two cases of beer. He was charged with petty theft.

B) Someone should have told this New York kncuklehead not to sell drugs if he wants to be a cop. When the man was busted in an undercover sting, police realized he was also enrolled in the local police academy. He's in jail, and won't be finishing his training anytime soon.

C) This Texas man left the engine running in his getaway car, but forgot to leave his doors unlocked. After using a caulking gun to steal prescription drugs from a pharmacy, the man went back to his car, but was locked out. He made a run for it, but didn't get very far.

August 11, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A woman in South Dakota was allegedly driving drunk when she got lost and stopped to get directions...at a sheriff's deputy's house. When the officer wouldn't let her drive they started wrestling.The woman is charged with drunk driving and assault.

B) Three teens broke into a vending machine but they didn't plan their getaway very well. Police followed an orange, dusty trail of Cheetos from the machine to a nearby home. Inside they found bags of Cheetos and other snacks. The boys were arrested.

C) A South Carolina man tried to rob a movie rental store with an empty cheesecake box. The man said the box had a bomb in it and demanded cash. The clerk refused and the man fled. Police caught him and he confessed.

August 4, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A Frederick man went to Best Buy to have a car stereo installed. But he forgot to take the crack cocaine and drug paraphernalia out of the car first. Best Buy employees called the police... Who arrested him.

B) Some Seattle park-goers got worried after seeing dozens of sharp metal spikes in a popular lake swimming spot. The city's Parks Department thought someone was trying to hurt people. It turns out... The Parks Department itself put the spikes in the lake more than 20 years ago... to try to control water plants.

C) A Dallas, Texas man decided to steal copper wire for scrap metal. He climbed to the top of a LIVE electric pole to get it. He was shocked when his plan didn't work... literally. Crews had to remove him from the pole... He will face charges.

July 28, 2008
WINNER: A

A) You snooze, you lose, and that's what these Washington robbers found out. They were discovered at the scene of the crime sleeping on top of their stolen loot. Police couldn't resist taking pictures before waking them up and arresting them.

B) No telling what this Omaha man was thinking. While waiting for police to test his breath, the repeat drunken driver opened up a bottle of Wite-Out and took a big gulp. Needless to say the drink couldn't keep him out of jail.

C) Someone should have told these Tennessee knuckleheads that doing a robbery on an empty gas tank was a bad idea. The trio of crooks couldn't even make it out the parking lot after stealing a recliner from a Goodwill store. It didn't take long for police to arrest them.

July 21, 2008
WINNER: C

A) This California man should have made sure he got a good nights sleep before attempting to steal a car. Police found him in the front seat, snoring away. He was arrested on sight and says he was tired and just needed to rest.

B) After stealing hundreds of dollars from a New York apartment, this knucklehead was back moments later trying to give back the money and pick up the wallet he left behind. The apartment owner wasn't having it, and quickly called the police.

C) It didn't take long for police to find the money from a gas station robbery in Wisconsin. It was stuffed in a man's underwear. That's all he was wearing when an officer found him riding his bicycle near a recreation center a short time after the theft.

July 14, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A drunk New York man crashed his car into a fence, and says he was being chased. His bizarre behavior continued when he ran into a random house, growling at the woman who lived there and pulling down curtains. Needless to say, his claims couldn't keep him out of jail.

B) Two Delaware teenagers got more than they bargained for when they tried to steal gas from a car. It happened to be an unmarked police vehicle. Both were caught, and are set to appear in family court.

C) After responding to an apartment fire, German firefighters were shocked when they realized they had a drunk imposter in their ranks. They quickly called police, and the man was arrested, but he says, "when a fire breaks out, it's all hands on deck."

July 7, 2008
WINNER: A

A) A 74-year-old California woman was charged with driving under the influence when she crashed her car into the front window of a convenience store. The woman got out of the car unharmed -- and then tried to purchase a six-pack of Budweiser from the store owner.

B) A Wisconsin man got out of paying a cabbie by having a "heart attack." The man had another fake heart attack before he could pay at a restaurant. The same doctor was sick of seeing him-- and called the police, who arrested the faker. The man had five priors and was banned from two restaurants.

C) Father and son bonding time is important, but it can be taken too far. A Wisconsin pair did more than fish together: they zapped each other with a taser stolen from police. After posting a video of this online, police arrested the duo for possession of a stolen taser.

June 30, 2008
WINNER: C

A) Two Berlin women were trying to make "manure bombs" using stockings when one slipped into a manure tank. She was helped out by her partner, but both lost their clothes while escaping from the farm. Police say they can get their clothes back -- unwashed.

B) It didn't take long for police to find this wanted Connecticut man. He slammed his truck into their garage. He's been charged with a number of counts including criminal trespassing.

C) It's hard to escape from jail. At least that's what two males discovered when they attempted to escape through the air conditioning system in a Texas city jail. They ended up crashing through the ceiling of the police chief's office.

June 23, 2008
WINNER: A

A) An 18-year old Vermont teenager was driving 104 miles per hour and told police she didn't know they were trying to pull her over. She was too busy talking on her cell phone.

B) A Pennsylvania man bought alcohol for underage teenage girls. He told police it was because he needed the money for gas.

C) An Arkansas man was released from jail for burglary. He reported to his parole officer on time, but in a stolen car

June 16, 2008
WINNER: B

A) The U-S Senate can't seem to run it's own restaurants. Taxpayers have had to make up the $18 million difference since the early 90's. Now they're taking notes from the House, who manages to turn a profit on their cafeterias and coffee shops.

B) Last Monday was a Code Red day, and riders should have been able to hop on Metro busses for free. But the folks at Metro kept charging riders while they sat around and waited for a memo.

C) Who knew a "brain freeze" could be so dangerous? A Kansas man told police it was a frozen drink from a local Sonic restaurant that led him to crash his car into a home. He said the ice-cold effects caused him to lose control.

June 9, 2008
WINNER: A

A) A Colorado man went back to Starbucks for a cup of coffee after robbing it two days earlier, and he didn't even bother to change his outfit. A detective was already on the scene investigating, and caught the guy.

B) It's a good thing a Pennsylvania man had his cell phone on him while in a port-a-potty. He had stripped naked and got stuck in the toilet. He called 911 and was cut out of the waste holding tank. He was charged with public drunkenness and a health code violation.

C)Two thieves stole a Long Island woman's digital camera. But they didn't know the camera had a special memory card, and sent all of their smiling pictures to the woman's home computer.

June 2, 2008
WINNER: C

A) This Iowa City man is all about recycling, or so he says. After getting caught over the weekend with a gallon of marijuana his explanation to police was simple: he planned to turn the several large bags into compost. The officers weren't buying it, and the man remains in jail.

B) A young New York woman blames her lover for her intoxication. After being pulled over for swerving in and out of lanes she quickly told the officer that a kiss from a drunk boy was the reason. However, she couldn't explain the four beer bottles that were under her passenger seat.

C) Arkansas police didn't have trouble finding a missing pepsi machine over the weekend because it was left in the front yard of the man who stole it. A deputy saw the machine and dolly tracks that led right back to the liquor store it came from. Two men tried to flee, but one was caught and arrested.

May 26, 2008
WINNER: A

A) This New Zealand guy made his first mistake when he tried to pay for food with some marijuana. His second mistake was not checking behind him in line. A cop was there who hauled in the hungry man.

B) This Missouri man really didn't want a ticket. So to try to shake the cop he called in a fake robbery to 911. But the operator, who was more clever than him, heard the cop in the background and busted the man.

C) Usually it works the opposite way... A traveler in Japan may have picked up a bag of marijuana from customs. An official packed it in a suitcase as part of a dog training session. The drugs are still missing and Tokyo officials ask anyone with information of their whereabouts to call them.

May 19, 2008
WINNER: A

A) The Wilson Bridge project leaders who threw a ceremony on the bridge Thursday morning for politicians to congratulate each other, causing an 8-mile back-up for angry commuters.

B) A Florida man wanted his girlfriend to stop shouting at him. He's not sharp but the knife he used to cut himself was. He told cops it was the only way he knew how to get silence. The bad day ended in jail for the guy, once police learned of his parole violation.

C) At least this Minnesota man is consistent. On trial for assault he attacked his lawyer, and it all went down in front of the judge and jury. Now that he knocked his attorney out of commission he has to represent himself.

May 12, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A startling site for a Florida restaurant owner. He saw a leg dangling over his grill. Turns out some guy tried to break into the building by crawling through the vent. He got stuck and firefighters had to pry him out. The man says he was innocent -- and just fell into the vent.

B) This New York motorcyclist thought it'd be fun to pop a wheelie and flip the bird at some officers. They gave chase and he fled. It ended after he crashed into a police car. He went from the hospital to jail.

C) A New York teen grabbed a man in his parked car and demanded money...He didn't get it. The men were undercover officers doing surveillance. Now the teen's charged with robbery, assault and resisisting arrest.

May 5, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A New Hampshire convenience store worker knew something was wrong with the woman parked in the lot. It was probably the No Parking sign stuck to the front bumper. Cops came, woke up the sleeping woman and arrested her on marijuana charges.

B) This Texas man really went big. He tried to deposit a forged check to start a record company. But he didn't get far. Suspicions were raised as soon as the bank saw the amount....360 BILLION dollars! That's 10 zeros! He was arrested.

C) A Wisconsin man thought he was being sharp when he gave cops a fake name. He was trying to get out of some traffic tickets. Turns out the name belonged to a man wanted for vehicular homicide! The guy quickly backtracked when he found out.

April 28, 2008
WINNER: C

A) This Indiana man may be blind but anyone can see he's nobody to mess with. One knucklehead learned the hard way when he broke into his the blind man's house. The homeowner got him pinned and kept punching him until help arrived.

B) Arkansas police pulled over a guy and thought they smelled something funny coming from his box of fried chicken. They found marijuna tucked between a wing and a thigh and charged the man on drug possession.

C) A good rule of thumb for a substitute teacher -- don't brag about your outstanding warrant! Seems this Missouri woman didn't know...and it got her hauled to jail. School officials say she won't be back to teach.

April 21, 2008
WINNER: A

A) Police say it was easy to identify this bank robber. A Texas woman accused of robbing two banks in a month made one big mistake- handing the teller a threatening note with her name and address on the back.

B) Flying high didn't work for this Alabama man. When he went through Airport Security he emptied his pockets with the usual- keys and loose change and then two baggies of Pot.

C) No kidnapper here! Just a knucklehead tow truck driver. The driver unknowingly hauled away a car with a sleeping 7-year-old boy inside. Moments later the panicked parents noticed the driver hurriedly unhook the car and take off. The young boy slept through the whole ordeal!

April 14, 2008
WINNER: C

A) Oregon Police had an easy arrest with this DUI case. The woman walked right into the station. Turns out she does the cleaning there and cops noticed she was drunk after driving herself to work.

B) This sugar buzz was anything but sweet. Four people in Cincinnati broke into a candy store and stole $400 worth of it. Police say they only had to follow a trail of wrappers to arrest the group a few blocks away.

C) They say bad habits are hard to break. This knucklehead completed a 6-year prison sentence for burglary. A few days later he broke into a prison office to steal guns and handcuffs. He was arrested while trying to sell them.

April 7, 2008
WINNER: A

A) This guy in Georgia decided to hold up a convenience store but needed to wait for customers to leave. So to kill time he filled out a job application...and thought he was being sharp when he left his uncle's phone number. But cops managed to track him down.

B) As a carjacker it's important to start the car but that might come second to making sure you can get out. This Iowa knucklehead couldn't do either. The SUV had an anti-theft device that locked him in. He was still there when the owner and cops came.

C) A judge in Serbia ruled a man must share all his property with his ex-wife. So the farmer bought a grinder and cut all his tools in half. He says he still hasn't decided how to split the cow.

March 31, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A California man looked like an easy target. The 84-year-old was walking home when a teen held him up with a knife. What the mugger didn't know was the man was a former marine. He kicked the teen in the groin and continued home while the other guy stayed on the ground.

B) It's bad enough waking up with a killer hangover but what about coming to inside a garbage truck? That's what happened to one Indiana man. The driver dumped some trash inside and was about to turn on the compactor when he heard screams. The guy says he has no idea how he got in there.

C) A Florida man was released from jail. He says he didn't feel like walking home so carjacked a woman in the parking lot. He couldn't operate the car though and was hauled back to jail on felony charges.

March 24, 2008
WINNER: B

A) Police came to break up a noisy party in Oklahoma when they saw 2 marijuana joints. A man grabbed them and when cops told him to hand them over he said he already ate them. Cops arrested him for destroying evidence.

B) An Australian cop admitted to drinking 18 beers before going on duty! A couple of things he did during his shift -- administered breath tests and arrested a woman who knocked him unconscious. A police spokeswoman says the matter is under review.

C) A cargo flight bound for Miami made an emergency landing in Boston after the crew smelled noxious fumes. A hazmat team inspected for a flammable chemical leak. They found 5 tons of minced onions instead. The smelly load was trucked the rest of the way.

March 17, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A restaurant owner confronted a man who broke into his kitchen and swiped an armload of meat. The thief fought back, so the owner whacked him over the head with a frozen ham and stopped him cold. The thief ran away but dropped the loot.

B) This Pennsylvania knucklehead is clearly not a details guy. He got his mask and weapon and went to rob a bank... Too bad it had already closed for the day! Luckily he was arrested anyway after witnesses caught his license plate number.

C) Kansas police responded to a store alarm and saw an opening in the wall. They decided to let the thief dig himself into a deeper hole. He tried to crawl through after some cigarette boxes he tossed but caught his pants on a nail. He made it out and to jail...pantsless.

March 10, 2008
WINNER: B

A) This Minnesota man deserves an F in his anger management class. He was on his way to a session when he punched someone waiting at the bus stop with him. He fled but dropped his class folder so cops had no trouble finding him.

B) Another clumsy knucklehead with butterfingers. This one robbed a convenience store but dropped his W-2 form. The tax form had all of his personal information...giving cops a much needed clue.

C) A masked Connecticut man held up a pizza joint and got away with the cash. A few weeks later he called in to order a pie. The worker recognized the voice and told cops...They made the arrest.

March 3, 2008
WINNER: C

A) A couple of Australian knuckleheads should have taken a hint from all the motorcycles parked outside the bar they tried to hold up. The local biker club meeting there fought back with tables and chairs. One of the would-be-crooks wound up in the hospital and the other tied up.

B) An Ohio man tried to get creative for a holdup. He colored a bottle of cologne black pretending it was a gun. The victims fought back breaking the bottle over the would-be robber. Police followed their noses to the perfumed perp.

C) A Texas woman pulled over and lifted her car's hood after it overheated. That's when a carjacker got in. Problem is he drove off without ever lowering the hood. Needless to say cops spotted him easily, gave chase and hauled him in after he crashed into a tree.

February 25, 2008
WINNER: A

A) A South Carolina man had to pay a fine after being arrested on drug charges. He was released but returned to the station to demand his money back. He didn't get it but did get re-cuffed. Cops recognized the car he drove to the station as stolen.

B) In Arizona a man tried to pay for a watch with $200 cash. The shopkeeper noticed Abraham Lincoln on the $100 bills. Problem is Benjamin Franklin is on the true bills. The caught counterfeiter wouldn't give up and the shopkeeper had to tase him before cops came.

C) This Elvis wannabe is really dancing to the jailhouse rock. A Florida impersonator of the King told people his house burned down in a fire. They organized a benefit concert and raised cash and clothes for him. But police say there never was a fire. Now he's facing felony fraud charges.

February 18, 2008
WINNER: A

A) Here's a robber almost asking to be caught... A Pennsylvania man is in trouble for breaking into a warehouse and then posting video of the incident on You-Tube.

B) A California man is in jail after making more than 27-thousand prank 911 calls. The California Highway Patrol says the prankster would make strange noises, mutter, or just press buttons... overwhelming the 911 system.

C) A guy in Westport, New Zealand violated the city's alcohol ban in a big way. He walked into a police station while drinking... Police also found point-six grams of pot in his pocket.

February 11, 2008
WINNER: C

A) Police in Maine are on the lookout for a driver in heels, garter belt...and mustache! Turns out the man in drag drives around in women's skivvies. He cuts in front of people, then jumps out and models his outfit. Police say he may be dangerous.

B) A Minneapolis knucklehead has to serve 5 years probation and it wasn't because he stuck his own foot in his mouth. After he stole a woman's cell phone and keys he told her to remove her shoes, then demanded to lick her feet.

C) A Delaware man forgot to check his pockets before entering a courthouse. Oops. Police found 8 baggies of pot in in his pockets! When they tried to arrest him he ran. Now he's added resisting arrest to the possession charge.

February 4, 2008
WINNER: B

A) A Missouri knucklehead wound up with a shovel upside the head. Two men tried to snatch the purses of two women but they fought back ... one of them with a snow shovel! Police tracked the guys down. And the man who was hit needed staples to close the gash.

B) A would-be North Carolina robber made it really easy for cops. He was about to rip off a convenience store when he dropped the gun and shot himself in the foot. Needless to say he botched the getaway too and police made an easy arrest.

C) A Polish man is having a tough convincing officials he's not dead! He was mistakenly reported and recorded drowned. Now he can't pay insurance or taxes or even work. He may be on cloud nine but officials still insist he's six feet under.

January 28, 2008
WINNER A

A) A North Carolina man didn't really get the point of password protection. He brought a laptop into a store to get the feature removed...But the manager recognized the computer as stolen. Cops made the arrest.

B) In New Zealand, a man thought it would be funny to flash an oncoming car...And not with his headlights! Too bad the driver was an on-duty police officer. He had to pay about 5 hundred dollars in fines for indecent behavior.

C) Two Oregon men picked the wrong time to show their generous side. They asked some police officers if they'd like some donuts. A short time later cops heard about a convenience store robbery and among the stolen items...donuts! They tracked down the pastry pilfers and cuffed them.

January 21, 2008
WINNER B

A) If you're going to flee a crime- know where you're going! Police responded to a convenience store after getting reports of a robbery. The New York man fled- and ran onto the grounds of Sing Sing state prison where guards had no problem catching him.

B) Don't steal from a police officer and post it on You-tube. A Wisconsin man stole an officer's taser and posted the video of himself and his father taking turns using the weapon on each other. Police became aware of the video a few days after it was posted-- but when they tracked him down he was already in jail for another crime!

C) Don't call the cops on this one! A Minnesota man called the police to report his house had been robbed. When they arrived the man had trouble pointing out exactly what was stolen...But after some questioning he admitted that the robber made off with his stash of marijuana and 32-hundred-dollars in cash.

January 14, 2008
WINNER A

A) A Michigan man decided to steal some hunting knives. He wasn't sharp but they were! After hiding them in his waistband, he fell and stopped himself cold. He's recovering in the hospital while police investigate.

B) A Baltimore man said he would stay on the roof of a bar until his Beloved Ravens won a game. For more than 2 weeks he welcomed media attention but no win. The stunt did catch the attention of cops who hauled him in on an outstanding warrant.

C) A leak led to a major drug bust in Connecticut. After neighbors complained, cops found the upstairs neighbor was growing a marijuana farm. The knucklehead gardener is now being held on $1 million bail.

January 7, 2008
WINNER B

A) A "cereal" crook in England made off with money from a florist's cash register. But cops had no trouble tracking her down. She left a trail of corn flakes from the crime scene to her hotel room and admitted to several other burglaries.

B) A South Carolina woman was sentenced to five years in prison on grand larceny charges. But when she failed to bite her tongue it got worse. She told the judge to kiss her you know what...and got 90 days added to the sentence.

C) Thank goodness for voice recognition technology. A man was holding up an Ohio Wendy's and yelled at an employee not to answer her ringing cell. But his shouts activated her bluetooth and picked up the call. The person on the other end heard the sounds of the robbery and called cops.

Dec. 31, 2007 <
WINNER B

A) A New Jersey man was arrested for stealing Christmas lawn decorations....that he hid on his own front lawn.

B) A man robbed a Maine home then crashed his car at the end of the road. So he knocks on the door of the house he just robbed and asked to come in because he was cold.

C) A Pennsylvania man reported his car stolen for insurance money. Unfortunately he was caught selling the "stolen" car stereo and DVD player on Ebay.

Dec. 24, 2007
WINNER A

A) Police used some elementary measures to nab a Texas man accused of skipping out on his restaurant bill. After he left, cops checked out a nearby vacant building. One of them shouted Marco! The man shouted back Polo! And police hauled him in.

B) Here's a story of Christmas Karma. A grinch up in Massachesetts broke into a home and stole all of the Christmas presents. But he left a trail of tinsel! Police followed it right to his door and arrested him.

C) And now a story of some knucklehead police in Holland. After arresting a man on drug charges, they served him a lunch that included a piece of cake laced with hash! Turns out it was evidence in an unrelated case and stored in the fridge next to the food.

Dec. 17, 2007
WINNER A

A) A North Carolina man forgot to look around before stealing a Honda. Not only was a cop standing right there but a local news camera was rolling nearby and caught it all on tape! The man drove off but was arrested soon after.

B) Everyone but a knucklehead knows a high speed chase is not the time to wash your car! A Wisconsin man led police through a car wash after they tried to pull him over. Cops weren't slipped up by the soapy water though and arrested the man.

C) Here's a tip: Don't steal the gratuity left by police! In Cincinnati, some officers left a 12 dollar tip at a restaurant. A witless thief picked it up and tried to walk off. But he didn't make it far and cops hauled him in.

Dec. 10, 2007
WINNER A

A) An Oregon man was arrested after he tunneled his way into a tire store. His plan to steal tires fell apart when the cops noticed a hole outside the store and followed it to the man and after some investigating- the tunnel was too small to get the tires out!

B) A man drove his pick-up truck through the wall of a Louisiana drug store to steal drugs was arrested. Not only did cops have video surveillance of the heist, but they also found a side mirror belonging to the truck along with the mans wallet...

C) It's not surprising that a Michigan Nun banned most curse words from her school- the nun wanted the list to be clear and decided to read the list out loud in church- among the words also banned- "stupid" and "boring."

Dec. 3, 2007
WINNER A

A) This scheme didn't pay for some Georgia crooks. A man returned a printer to the store after printing some counterfeit money. When he noticed he left some fake cash inside, he tried to grab it and run. Cops quickly arrested him and his accomplices.

B) Just because Santa likes cookies doesn't mean he wants a pumpkin pie in the face. A Montana prankster smashed one in a mall Santa's face, and video taped it. Cops weren't laughing - they slapped him with a misdemeanor assault charge.

C) A New York man switched roles with his son when he asked for the nine-year-old's help passing a test...A drug test! Police caught the kid urinating in a mug and arrested the father. They turned the boy over to his mother.